Thinking today..

Been thinking today of how to "finish" my BLAHgs about our journey. I looked back over all the posts to make sure I'd remembered everything I wanted to tell you. As I looked over our story, I thought of all the families out there with stories similar to ours. I thought of all the wonderful parents that I've met "out there" with children with autism. Many of the families I know have children with fairly mild autism, like Daniel. But for many, their children are more severely affected. I don't pretend to fully understand what they go through every day. I can imagine that I have an idea, but autism is a spectrum condition, each end, each child, being vastly different from the other. My heart goes out to those parents who've never heard their child speak. I ache for the parents who see their child self-injure themselves in an attempt to escape the sensory pain they live in. When I pray for those in the autism community, it is these families who cause my heart to cry out most fervently. I can't truly know their pain, or their fears for the future of their children. Our story holds no candle in comparison to what they've gone through. They have my heart.

In the early days of our journey - even before his diagnosis, I turned to the internet for information and support. I didn't know anyone locally with an autistic child, so I searched out people who'd been there, done that, and could help me through all the days ahead. I found friends, true friends, who were there every time I signed on line with a question, fear, or just in pain. In the early days, there was Vikki - a wonderful mom who walked with me through Daniel's diagnosis. We'd sit up at night until 2 or 3 am "talking" via IM. We'd at first talk about autism, but then we'd begin to just enjoy each other's company - a respite from the medical, neurological, educational, and behavioral world we'd found ourselves flung into by autism. Many nights I would sit at the computer with my hand over my mouth to stifle my laughter so as not to wake my family. It was a world away from covering my mouth to hide my sobs. I needed that at the time. On the day I got Daniel's diagnosis, I came home & sat at the computer and typed out the diagnosis & sent it to Vikki. She replied with an e-mail - the subject line read: In Honor of Your Arrival... and the text of the e-mail was an article entitled "Welcome to Holland". Do a Google search for that title. You'll find it. Sadly, cancer and other things took Vikki away from the computer. She is a survivor, but no longer able to be on line. We've lost contact, and I still miss her. Perhaps someday...(Vikki, if you ever come across this blog & read it - I never DID find that screw I lost!)

I met other people on line who became very important parts of our journey. As we all posted on an autism message board, we were drawn to each other & soon began to send out group e-mails. We didn't focus on autism alone. We began to get to know each other & enjoy each other's friendship. We began to exchange photographs. During a group e-mail "conversation", we were discussing our pictures, and we all decided that we were some seriously Hot Mamas. During another group discussion, we all admitted that we're not perfect parents (imagine that!), and that we sometimes scream at our children (God forgive!). As a joke, one of the women - Donna - posted that we were the Screamin' Hot Mamas of America. (Was it America, Donna, or Autistics?) And THAT is how "SHMOA" came to be. We are: Donna (president, of course...after all - she named us! I've met Donna in person!), Patti, Tammy, Laura, Jeanna, Ginny, Liane, Paul (honorary SHMOA - bein's he's a dad & all), Carla, and me. Over the years, circumstances took some people away from SHMOA (and we still miss them!) - they are: Leah, Kim, Molly, Billie, Teal (whom I've met in person as well!) and Laelah. All of these people were a life-line to me in those early days. Today, they're my friends....and a monument to the resiliency of the human spirit! So many stories I could tell you about what these people have gone through - are going through - with autism, or even within their daily lives, apart from the autism. We have walked together through diagnosis, deaths, cancer, MS diagnosis, RA diagnosis, divorce, abuse, cross-country moves, job losses, new jobs, transfers, IEP meetings, due process hearings, regressions, progresses (sometimes leaps and bounds!), miracles, and heartbreak. These women (and man!) are representatives of what has grown to be a very large community - the autism community; families affected in one way or another, to one degree or another, by autism. Today, there are 1.5 million families in America who are affected by autism. 1 in 150 children are diagnosed with autism. I read somewhere that that's one every 24 minutes.

Our story is a rain drop in an ocean of stories out there. We are blessed. So many out there struggle far more than we ever have, or ever will. When you pray for us, please pray for them. These children are precious - each and every one of them. If you'd like to commit to praying for children with autism and their families, you can receive daily prayers/prayer points from Children of Destiny. (.org, I think it is)

Thank you for taking the time to read our journey. Typing it out for you has been a wonderful reminder to me of all the ways in which God has blessed my family. I've smiled, remembering. I've even shed a tear or two - but not a single one has been a tear of sadness. How marvelous & faithful is our God?!?!

If you have any questions that I can try to answer, feel free to ask. You won't offend or bother me.

God bless you!