“Don’t you know who you are? What’s been done for you? You are more than the choices that you’ve made, you are more than the sum of your past mistakes, you are more than the problems you create, you’ve been remade.” ~ You Are More, Tenth Avenue North

 

This was my earworm this morning when my alarm awakened me.  This song, repeating through my head, and I realized it had been there all night. Every time I would wake up to roll over, or uncover (hot flashes, don’t you know..) or re-cover (they don’t last forever..), there it was, scrolling through my brain like a marquee.  I have it in my music on my phone, but I’m not sure when I heard it last.  Apparently, it had wriggled its way into my heart and mind in order to show up in my dreams. 

After I was awake enough to fully realize it was there, I began to ponder the words more closely, searching out the lyrics in order to read them over several times (how I miss lyrics inside of CD jackets!).

Check this out: “ ’Cause this is not about what you’ve done, but what’s been done for you.  This is not about where you’ve been, but where your brokenness brings you to. This is not about what you feel but what He felt to forgive you, and what He felt to make you loved.”

Wow. That makes my heart smile.  I’m so thankful for His Love.  There’s something so freeing in the realization that it doesn’t matter what I do – or don’t do, doesn’t matter how I look, feel, or what I weigh. Bad hair days, good hair days, rattled, frustrated, busy, energized or tired, irritable (did I mention hot flashes?), or silly and happy.  The things that affect us on a daily basis, causing changes in mood or emotions; our choices, decisions, failures, successes – none of those things change HIM. None of those things change His vast Love for us.  How completely life-giving! 

Sometimes, I can be a bit on the irrational side – I’m “of an age” where these things begin to happen…sometimes, I take it out on my family, and they get ill with me.  Who can blame them?  They’re right – they don’t deserve to bear the brunt of my mood swings.  (I’m learning to keep my mouth shut rather than allowing frustration over minor things to spew out of it. Thank You, Lord, for Grace.)  I’m so thankful that God isn’t moved by my irrationalness (yes, it’s a word..kinda ugly, ain’t it?). It makes my heart soar to realize that He still looks on me kindly, with Love that I cannot comprehend and Mercy that I cannot outrun. Jesus saw the ugly mess that I can sometimes be before He ever went to the Cross – loved me anyway, and He carried it there for me so that I could sit here on this laptop and type out my feelings for you to read. 

I can be hard on myself. I bet you can, too (on yourself, not me...well maybe me, too?).  Most of us are our own worst critics, I think.  Thankful, thankful, THANK-FULL that the weight of regrets, missteps, and failures don’t define me.  When my self-talk turns to the “I can’t believe you did that – so STUPID.” I’m beyond thankful that His Voice tells me that I’m enough – that He loves me anyway – despite it, through it, above it, I am loved. So are you.  Immeasurably, vastly, immensely, enormously, exceedingly, extremely, greatly, hugely, mightily, tremendously, especially, exceptionally, powerfully, remarkably, abundantly, incalculably, incomparably, incredibly, intensely, supremely, surpassingly, deeply, eminently, extraordinarily, profoundly, acutely, astonishingly, dearly, decidedly, emphatically, particularly, truly, wonderfully – you are LOVED by the Ancient One, the King of kings and Lord of lords.  Period.  It is finished, done.  (and yes – I pulled out my thesaurus for that..)  See each one of those words up there?  I challenge you to do this:  Read them each, individually, out loud, followed by the words: I am loved by God.  (For example – Immeasurably, I am loved by God. And so forth through the entire list.)  Go ahead. Do it now. I’ll wait. 

Finished?  How special are you?!?!?  Pretty special.  Want me to get my thesaurus out again?  No?  You get the picture, right?  If we’re loved like that by the very God Who created us – what on earth should ever make us feel less?  Exactly.  Nothing. On. Earth.

I don’t know about you, but that makes me want to sing.  I believe I will. 

Have a great day, friends!  J

Y’all, my heart is so heavy this Mother’s Day weekend. As a mother, this weekend always makes me reflect on the things of motherhood – did I do a good job raising my boys? Will their memories of their childhood be pleasant ones?  Will they remember me with an abundance of wonderful memories when I make my journey Home? 

You know – standard Mom fare.

But, today, my heart is heavy for mothers that I do not know.  This week, I watched the tragedy of three families unfold before me; I am wounded for them. 

During the first part of the week, I was selected to sit as a juror on the trial of a young man who had inadvertently, but recklessly, caused the death of a young woman.  As much as my heart wanted to display the Grace and Mercy of God to him, I had to weigh only the evidence and cast my vote on that alone.  As I left that courtroom after the verdict was rendered and the young man led away in handcuffs, I had to walk past two grieving families.  The young woman’s mother stepped forward, hugging a photograph of her beautiful daughter to thank me even as the young man’s family glared with tears in their eyes; my heart broke in two.  There were no winners here – in this situation, everyone loses.  Without speaking, selfishly without offering words of comfort, I ducked my head, allowing my hair to fall in front of my face to hide my tears, pausing only briefly to offer a weak nod to her, and fled the courtroom. I could not face their pain in the midst of my own. I am thankful that Jesus is our Righteous Judge, and our Advocate before the Father; I, too, would stand convicted without His Intercession on my behalf.

 My prayer is that this young man, a precious creation of God regardless of his behavior and choices, comes to encounter the Living God and the transforming power of His Love.  I pray that the families of these children – to me, they are children – find a place of peace, forgiveness, and hope in Jesus Christ.  I will never forget them or their beloved children, and I will always, always pray for them.

Later in the week, my youngest son came home from school carrying the news that a classmate’s younger sister - 14 years old - had taken her own life as a result of bullying at school.  I don’t even have the words to describe the depth of the grief it placed in my heart. This poor girl…and her poor family.  I can’t even begin to imagine their pain.  I saw her picture on social media – she was beautiful.  What words could have been spoken and absorbed into her spirit to cause her to believe she wasn’t worthy of life?  Oh, sweet child of God, their words do not define you; His Word says you were fearfully and wonderfully made, precious and honored in His Sight – a child of the One True King.  I am so sorry that you were hurt; I’m so sorry that you doubted your beauty and your worth. My sincere hope is that those whose words so wounded you will come forward, repent before the Father and your family, and somehow justice will be done where there is no justice that will ever be enough. They, too, are just children. My heart hurts for them and their families as well.

Such a tragedy, such a loss. 

My friends, our world is hurting; our children are suffering and dying at the hands of one another. How sad it must make Father God to see how far we have fallen.  There is only one answer – Jesus.  We all need Jesus.