Girls?? Already??

Everyday I get a communication notebook sent home from school in Daniel's notebook. I get a brief record of his day - whether he had trouble staying on task, how many prompts he needed, if he got into trouble for something or got upset, etc. The notebook has two sections - an hourly section in the front so his aide can briefly record the aforementioned type things and a section of note paper in the back so she and I can write notes back and forth. I write whether or not he slept well, if he seems to be not feeling well, if there's something she needs to remind him of, etc. It works great for keeping us all on the same page regarding Daniel's progress.

I don't always get a note home in the back. Yesterday, I did.

She told me that she had intercepted a note Daniel passed in class to a little girl. The note asked the little girl if she would be his girlfriend. Classroom protocol is for the teacher or aide to silently read the note, then deposit it in the trash can - which is what the aide did. (That's how she knew he was asking the girl to be his girlfriend.) The aide, Mrs. H. (para extraordinaire, by the way), told me in her letter in the comm. log that the little girl didn't get to read the note and whispered, "I'm sorry." to Daniel. Mrs. H. spoke to Daniel a little later about passing notes and about asking girls to be his girlfriend. (She said he told her he REALLY wants a girlfriend) She said she usually handles it at this age by saying that they're too young for girlfriend/boyfriends & that they couldn't do that until high school, but she asked me how I wanted her to deal with it. I wrote back, "Lock all the little girls in the closet."

Then I added that she was exactly on target & that Davey had not been allowed a "girlfriend" until he reached the high school. Even then, it was restricted to phone and texts - they could "go out", but they couldn't go OUT, if you know what I mean. I further told her that up until now joking with Daniel about "old stinky girls" had been sufficient to quell his enthusiasm about them, but I guess the time had come for the talk. Oh, gosh no! Not "THE talk"!! That's Dad's job! (I plan on being on vacation far far away when THAT talk takes place...can you IMAGINE Daniel's questions? Me, either.. That's why I'm going away...)

So, I planned it all out. I thought about it, rehearsed it in my mind, and waited for the right time.

We were in the car headed to the high school to pick up Davey from drumline practice, just Daniel and me. We were listening to the radio, he was playing with a Bionicle in the seat next to me. All was peaceful and happy and the time seemed right.

So, I turned down the radio, carefully leaving it playing very quietly - sort of like the keyboard player at church will play quietly while the pastor is giving the altar call...y'know..for ambience....

"Hey, bud...I need to talk to you about something." (Gentle voice, lovingly mama-ish, oozing with timeless wisdom)
"What?" (Bugged tone - more like What NOW..)
"Well, y'know, Mrs. H. wrote me a note today about you passing a note to a little girl and asking her to be your girlfriend...."
"Yeah. She took it up and the girl said no." (Guess he took the girl's I'm sorry for a rejection?)

And then I proceeded to explain how he's too young for a girlfriend, and that can wait until high school. I laid out for him the rules (gently and wisely mama-ish) regarding girlfriends that we'd enforced with his brother, reminding him of the girls that Davey has liked (the ones who have occupied every waking moment...via text..). I told him that there is plenty of time for girlfriends, but he (we!) should wait a little while before he starts thinking along those lines, even though I know he REALLY wants a girlfriend.

I ended by reaching over and touching his cheek with my fingers, just offering my support. I compassionately asked, "Okay?" and waited for the tears to come....

He replied, "Okay. Hey Mom...did you know that some Bionicles come without a mask, only a head?" You know that sound that a balloon makes when you blow it up and then let it go to fly around the room? Yeah. That was me.

Love that boy!