Buildin' Monuments

I have a confession to make.... I ain't arrived. (In Alabama, ain't is a perfectly acceptable word for confessionals!) I ain't got it all figured out. I ain't always smart enough to remember the lessons I've learned in the past. I ain't the brightest bulb on the tree, the sharpest tool in the shed, the brightest crayon in the box...my elevator doesn't go all the way to the top....any other metaphor for being a big dummy sometimes that you care to apply here would work. But then, did any of you ever doubt any of that? Didn't think so. Me, either.

Now, before you read any further trying to figure out what the heck I'm talking about, I ought to warn you that I ain't thunk this blahg through thoroughly...I'm just typin' off the top of my often shockingly empty head. You've been warned.

Yesterday was a pretty bad day for me - at least for a little while there. I don't want to go into details too much (because I'm an idiot), but let's suffice it to say that yesterday started out a pretty stressful, anxiety-ridden, self-esteem shattering, yucky, byucky day. And for a little while, I FELT it. Oh BOY did I feel it. I was in tears wondering how on earth I could ever solve this dilemma I faced. I cried out, "Jesus...help me..I don't know what to do. " but I didn't really expect Him to hear and rush to help because, truth be known, this dilemma was of my own making - sheer stupidity. I've heard it said that God helps those who help themselves....I figured I'd helped myself into this stinky mess, He probably wasn't going to help me out.

And I FORGOT! I forgot all the times He has come to my aid in the past. All the times He hasn't left me to wallow in the mire of my own making, but instead lifted me out, brushed off the dirty stuff & set my feet back on solid ground. I FORGOT to look at the monuments I've tried to build within my own memory - the places that I've set aside as monuments, or memorials, of His Grace, Faithfulness, and Goodness...the places where I can look and remind myself, "Look what the Lord has done!"

I forgot to believe God for the unbelievable, and allowed myself to get caught up for a few minutes in fear and anxiety. I allowed myself to run to the phone (well, the computer) before I ran to the Throne (Joyce Meyer's words, not mine, lest anyone should think I'm clever like that..). I ran, found a friend on line, who "listened" to my problem, offered her helpful advice, which I heeded (I'm at least that smart!), and I made a phone call that, within minutes, resolved my anxiety and worry. God went before me, and the issue was resolved without further ado. Do I believe that God heard my desperate heart? Absolutely. Do I believe that God used my friend to help me find my way out of my problem? Absolutely. Do I believe it was a coincidence that this friend was on line when I signed on? No way. She hears Him, and He knew it...and He also knew that my heart was so caught up that I probably couldn't hear HIM right that moment...so He spoke (and worked!) through her. Thank you, friend, for being faithful to hear His Voice. (You know who you are, and I know you're reading this...)

Funny, about the same time I was struggling with my own issue, someone dear to my heart sent me a text message asking for prayer because of a medical test she was facing right that moment. I didn't hesitate to pray for her, never doubted that God would come through for her, and totally believed God that the medical test would be absolutely fine. (It was absolutely fine, by the way...) But I couldn't seem to believe for ME. I'd forgotten to look at my monuments.
A little later, when I went into my prayer closet, I was thanking God for the awesome way He had shown up for me and for the one dear to me, and I heard Him whisper, "Why were you afraid? Why didn't you look at your monuments?"

God has this way of piercing through all the feathers and fluff and getting right down to the nitty gritty of the matter, doesn't He? I think my thankfulness, while sincere and heartfelt, was semi-sub-consciously an attempt to divert His Attention from the main issue...I had failed to REMEMBER Who He was, Whose I was, and all the countless times He has proven Himself Mighty and Faithful (Mighty Faithful!) in my life. He wasn't gonna play that, though, and immediately put His Finger right on the heart. Ouch.

So, that is my confession. Just so you know, I made it right with my Lord...and the issue is resolved, even though I still have some "mopping up" to do. But, that's okay. I know that the worst is over, because God cared about what mattered to me, and caused an iron axe head to float on my behalf. (2 Kings 6) My predicament was tiny if looked at through God's Eyes. But, because He cares about the small things that cause us concern, He is Faithful to work on behalf of His children. So, today, I'm building another monument here; a reminder to me the next time I face worry and anxiety, that God is very present and desires to rush to my aid if I will only call on Him because LOOK WHAT THE LORD HAS DONE in the past. He never changes, His Promises are yes and amen, His Mercies are new every morning, and He makes all things new....yesterday, today, and forever.

Love to all!!